i dun wan

yeah........
there'll be a camp organised by San Seng Tong at the end of the year......

i heard that it'll be around 28,29,30,31 and 1st January 2009......
something like that...............

duh....................
i'm tired of this...............................
izzit i'm really getting old or what??
those young ppl really never care bout their own health de bo..........
sleep late late,liver rosak ar!!!!!!!!!!!

i heard that they planned to celebrate Countdown............during the camp...
haiz~~~~~~~~
for me...........it's actually quite meaningless...i dun feel like going...
but if i celebrate it with my closed FRIENDS...........
i think it'll be a very meaningful day!!!

haiz~~~~~~~~~~~
honestly...i'm bored and tired to serve for the YOUTH GROUP....
bcoz i found it's meaningless.........
i din do much things......
and i don't know much things...............
those ppl never treat ppl like me as a "gong wei"....(i think??)
they treat me like an innocent kid..........
maiguliu.............

i miss my friends..........
though it's rude...........but that's how i talk to my friend....
"maigu...cibai.........."
i feel free and relax to say in such way....though...it's really rude and no manner...
haiz..........
topics we talked everyday are very interesting and the topics are endless...........

but the topic between me and those ppl in YOUTH GP,
it's like.........
i dunno what to say...
then.........i became a very cool person...........

i don't know...........i juz wanna be with my friends.......
i love to talk..............
i'm tired to keep listening to the others.....................
though i'm a good listener...........
(maybe nobody knows that i'm a good listener...how pathetic i am T.T )

i'm a gemini............
GEMINI is talkative...........hate to be lonely...boring...motionless......nothing to do....
though sometimes i'm really very lazy to do things............
but actually everytime i'm lazy to do things........
i'm doing something....
mentally......

i love to think.........
think about anything...........
when i'm lazy to do things like walk....eat....write...study...do housework...
that means i'm thinking bout something......
i won't stop thinking...........
my brain never become blank......
i tried before...........
i try to "fa dai"....juz make my brain blank............
but i cant............
I REALLY CANT DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!am i an alien???
my brain is 24 hours de..........seven-eleven..."=.=

but everytime at SanSengTong.....
there'll be a lot of disturbance.......
i can't think what i usually think when i was lazy to do things...
when i'm in that condition....i have to do something............
I CAN'T STOP DOING ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!except i sleep.........
BUT I CANT SLEEP AT TAT TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so i have to do something....
so when i'm at SanSengTong.........
i'll be quite hardworking................
but...most of the time...........
i've nothing to do..................
when i've nothing to do and i can't do something mentally.......
i'll be very bored......................
I CAN'T STAND TO BE BORED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

T.T.............that's y i dislike to go there..........
no frens.......................
i mean......close frens......................

i know that's all my problems...........
nothing to do with SanSengTong..........
juz i cant be bored..........
there's actually many things to do at SanSengTong......i can help.....
but i dun know bout the rules.........
so i dun dare to do anything without permission......

so sien............
so i bcom uninterested to go SanSeng......
and i dun really wanna go for the camp..........
i wanna play with my Friends.....
i wanna use the time to study anything i want.....

but...i only can choose to go for the camp and...
lead a small group.........
make myself teladan yang baik untuk diikuti oleh my ahli-ahli kumpulan saya....
i need to learn to be a good person first before i could be a teladan baik...
but they juz let me be the teladan baik before i could learn to be one...

and i also need to learn how to lead a small group first before i could really lead a group...
but they juz let me lead the group without me learn how to lead a group effectively...
it's hard to learn like this u know???
i'm actually the same level as those ahli-ahli kumpulan...
ya...maybe i have the potensi to be a "small psychologist" for them...
but if they've no problem.....there's no use for me to be a psychologist...
and i'll become.........a useless "bu dao yuan"...
coz...i dunno what to do...i dunno what to talk...
and i dunno how to play with them except for they are my close fren...

i'm different.........
i'm only active if i'm with my close frens....
i'm "die" if i'm not with my friends.....................................

haiz....dunno la........................
see lo..............
there'll be a way.........to solve my problems............

now concentrate on my study first......
=.=

KAMBATEH everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!