Saturday, January 26, 2008

Feeling deep inside the well..haha -.-

To those friends,dun think so much bout this blog...dun be affected...
If u feel angry or maybe "eee....why is she so?"....
then u better dun see my blog anymore...
This is my place to express my feeling.....so dun complain anything or blame me...
Keep ur feeling or complain in ur heart is enough...k?
u can give me any comment...i'll accept if necessary.just dun make war between u and me...

Do anyone ever see me sad?hurt?angry?i think angry,most of the time all of u know la....
except for....i purposely don't want to let u know.

i cant tahan anymore...so i decide to say a little bit in here....i hope i wont be too over...and say everything out....

U know what?!...not yet begin la....just want to say...i tahan all my feeling(except for happy) for more than ten years(if i'm not mistaken)!!shit.....i can tahan for many years...but NOT FOR MY WHOLE LIFE AR!DONT SCOLD AT ME OR ANGRY WITH ME WHEN I 发泄!!!!i'll die if i din do so,U KNOW?!so sometimes,i'll 发泄在其它无关的事上....

u know....everything got its maximum point....if it reaches its maximum point,it'll rosak or die or explode...

i explode many times liao...but i'd tried to minimize it.....

the funniest things that i'd done to 发泄 is to say it out to someone.....i'm stupid...
cause i'll make them unhappy also!

i think i better use my 以前的方法来发泄...that is....talk to myself.
didnt say it out lar~~~!!!i talk to myself inside my heart...

i'm so complicated one hor...so while i'm talking to myself.....inside my heart will appear at least two person.that's me....and another me.....

we'll having something like debate...macam ni:

me-the-mangsa:haiya...shit la tat ??,always like this @#$%^&*#%
me-the-other:maybe ?? just dun want to let ?? feel sad ma...
me-the-mangsa:but how bout me le?...??can dun be hurted,then i can la?
me-the-other:ya la....?? just dun want to be hurt so do things like that lo...每个人都是要保护自己先的嘛...
me-the-another:ya la...that's y in this world....most people is very selfish one...

(in this case,got three si ting inside the conversation)

*continue bla...bla....bla.......!@#$@$$^#@$#@%$&.....*

then,come out a conclusion...then the conclusion will be my next action...

most of the time....i'll sabar....dun take any revenge action...just because i dun want to hurt anyone...

then

I'M THE ONE WHO GET INTO HOSPITAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

who cares?

i dun let anyone know oso.....

i still laugh and play with them....

nobody know that my heart is bleeding....
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sometimes,i wonder.......

why must i do most of the things to help the others,but not myself?

ACTUALLY....

i feel happy when other people feel happy....
duno why....

when i help someone.....and it ends up successfully,i'll be very happy....

and,during the process,i'll be very serious than when i'm doing my own things....


WHY HOR?

sometimes,i hate myself very much...

i'm lazy...
i know i'm lazy...
i know i shouldn't be lazy...
i know i shouldn't lazy,and should do my things liao....
i know if i didn't do it,i'll doom liao....
i know i'll still be there....lazy....
talking to myself.....
to ask me faster go finish all my work liao....
i'm still lying there asking myself faster go do my hmwk liao....
i'm still................................................................................................



AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
hit u AR!u this lazy pig!!!!useless.....

i know everything....so i keep forgive everyone for their mistake....
eg:when XXX did something that i don't like,i'll start my that weird conversation.....

me-the-angry:@@!!$#%$&^@!
me-the-other:XXX is like that one la....that's XXX's characteristics ma.....
me-the-another:XXX don't think for u.....XXX can't be forgive!!!
me-the-angry:how can XXX do this kind of things????!!!XXX cant think one meh?XXX should know@#%$^@^^...
me-the-other-other:just a little case la....things is done already liao ma....
me-the-another-another:ya lo...what can u do le?go find doraemon lo....
me-the-other-another:just let it be la...or u want to help solve the problem?u try to think what to do now lo......
me-the-another-other:ya lo....blame oso no use....
me-the-angry:......(my memory very bad,so after a while,i forget the things liao,then no more angry)

*wah,so many me.....*


BUT

the things that happen will be ....erm....like...how to say?...errr......like sejarah....can say so kua...

it's like...
even though i forget it now la....but after a long time,i'll remember that things again,and lagi teruk if the person is again making me angry,i'll become more angry....

haiya...duno how to explain clearly la....u people read till MCC oso good....prevent something bad happen....

i'm very complicated till i dunno how to explain the characteristics of myself....
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i think i'm out of topic....
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ok...back to topic...
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actually...i hope i can show me,the actual A TING...to friends around me....

even my family also don't really know the actual of me....

i cant find anyone who can totally know me yet.......

my friends from fo tang only know some part of me only....
my friends from school only know another part of me only....
my family only know another part of me only...
and ect....

people that know me....i can know most of them very much...

but people that know me....only know part of me only...and they know different of me....
eg: A only know i'm a lazy person.....B only know i'm a fierce person......C only know i'm a quiet friendly person.....D only know that i always study.......E only know i'm a quite person....etc etc....

see....so different one ar....how can i'm fierce....quiet?friendly?.....

erm...all correct la.....actually...(HUH?!)dun huh....that's why i said that i'm complicated person ma.......

i'm still finding a person...he understand me very much.....he's name is 知己.
i cant find this person yet la........

i think i wont find him......until my life end....

coz...


me...is really a hard-to-understand person....



let u guys know la......if u know me 100%....u're a complicated person also....and,u're more complicated than me!

*if u know me 70%-80%,u'll think i'm a 恐怖person
*if u know me 100%,u'll know that i'm a stupid person....why?find out urself la....

knowing me 70% and 100% is very different one........u'll know when u know....haha...

i dunno what i'm talking bout liao....


and what i'd type inside here is quite different from the topic....

because it's quite long....means i'll spent much time here typing...the longer the time,the more i forget bout my feeling...so,my feeling now is much more different than when i want to start writting this blog.....

if u're hin hin...i suggest u dun see this blog anymore....
if u cant understand,then let it be..better dun try to find out what i'm writing....
this blog is just like having a very complicated add maths question,which had a wrong information given.....

ENJOY UR LIFE.....u'll pengsan if u still dun understand what i'm writing after read twice...

hehe

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

लास्ट एअर इन सेकोन्दरी स्चूल...

Sweat...why become Hindi words?
i mean LAST YEAR IN SECONDARY SCHOOL la~~

not bad~~can learn hindi words in blog ar~~haha

haiz...probably last year in secondary school....if i didn't go for FORM 6...
still thinking whether want to go form 6 or not?

think...think....

T.T....just dun1 to separate with those friends~~even though some of them,i don't really know them...but having them in the class...baru ada 我的班的feel ma~~hope can meet them again after form 5....

actually starting from form3,if i'm not mistaken....
i'd already planned to have a 同学会 with our classmate in every year....

but dunno all of them can or not le.....

i planned to invite all the friends that i'd met starting from primary school....especially someone like:
玉妹,亿萍,彩虹,友伦啊...等等...

i seldom talk to them after we know each other....like 玉妹,亿萍,盈盈啊...during primary school,we're close....then,after we get into secondary school....i seldom talk to them....then,no more contact each other....Adeline still ok la,coz same class ma~~but the other two....haiz...

i hope to gather with all of my friends and classmates when we grow up...

maybe can see some of them bringing childs...bringing their wife or husband....
haha.....wahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.....
WAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA~~~~

sure i'll laugh until pengsan~~haha

hmmm...i wonder....

they'll marry what kind of woman ho?i'm very curious bout their wifes:
(1) Tiong Ing Thian
(2)Lo Wei Chern
(3)Kua Teck Ang
(4)Zeoilem


i guess....erm....can say expect la.....i expect my reaction after seeing them bringing their wifes to the dinner will be :"oh~~~~haha~~" OR MAYBE "hahahahaha...so unpredictable ar~~walau eh!!" OR!!!!! "WAKAU!!so hiung meh?walau.....so li hai wor~~!"

something like tat la...haha

(three of them --> "'= =,then i continue laughing~~)wahahaha....

then,how bout those gals?
(1)Sarina Go
(2)Elyssa
(3)Isabella
(4)Tiffany Tan
(5)Mei Sien
(6)Chiau Hung
(7)Evon
(8)Chee Ling
(9)Teh-o
(10)Swee Fan

hehe....

However,have to BERTEKAD in this year~~!!SPM come le!...for me,SPM come le....
last year in the secondary school....yahoo~~!no need to worry so much....no need to make myself so busy...NO MORE HMWK AND PROJECT~~~!!!!!!!!!!!woo~~but for half a year only la....haha.

SAY NO TO EXAMS~~~!
(b4 we get into form 6 or university...= =)

AFTER FORM 5.....
I CAN...
RELAX~~
DO MANY MANY THINGS THAT I CANT DO WHEN I'M STILL STUDY...
wahaha~~so shuang!!!

but....

*sigh*

SPM isn't over yet......
SWT....

so,first thing to do is to FIGHT with the disease "Sakit Pagi Malam"(SPM)....
fight it!ho ho ho!!!!!kick u!!kick this disease 11 times then i can get 11 A's.......
haha
hope i can do it!kick the target to get A1....then i'll screamed!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRR------------!
coz i hardly believe i can reach that target....even though i hope to hit the target very much....

(extra)
one thing,i think me越来越像Elyssa ~.~"
kebelakangan ini,saya menjadi lebih suka JERIT~~macam Elyssa la...

Thursday, January 17, 2008

我和朋友,如小雨点

看了黄老师给的文章的题目,我有所感触....

但,看了故事内容后,我的灵感被杀了一些...SWT

在人生中啦....我思考多次....还是觉得...友情是我最依靠的吧~~?
亲情不讲啦....但是爱情....呃...我想了又想...有了个结论.
就是...
"到了结婚,爱情才能说很珍贵吧~~(也很难讲啦)在那之前,爱情随时都可以变质..."

我有个朋友很重视他的爱情....呃....就说到这.....(他不是主题)


我BLOG的题目是想了很久才想到的咯....

为什么会是"我和朋友,如小雨点"咧?因为...

小雨点...从天而降,来到了新世界...慢慢的...小雨点和其他小雨点见面了...并一起向前进...流啊流~~渐渐的,就进入了小河....
在河里遇到的种种困难,让小雨点们渐渐成长...小雨点和小雨点之间也越来越有感情了...
过了不久,就来到了大海~~
WOO~~YAHOO~~
小雨点们拥有的空间变得无限大....小雨点们自由了...
但,
同时,小雨点和小雨点们要分离了...

个个小雨点各走各的....都往东南西北走去....有的留在中间...SWT "= =
不就后,又因太阳的关系,小雨点们又相聚....(不过有些会无法相聚啦~~)

*END*

我们就是那些小雨点...再过不久,我们就要"面临"我们的大海....
去国外留学的去国外.....
留在这的,留在这...
不去,也不留的...发神经~~

讲真的,我真的很舍不得我那一班朋友...虽然有时侯我会讨厌他们一些的 BAD HABIT,但,始终还是朋友...
离开是一定的....但能再相遇,是很难讲的....说不定,就这样从此不见了...
SOB....SOB....*CRY*~~

HAIYA....

其实,我会写这样的内容,有点奇怪...
因为我其实打从心里不相信爱情,友情会有一些不相信....亲情不能不信啦~~SWT...
因为我相信在这世间,爱情和友情很难会永久...虽然我希望它们都能永久...(谁不希望?!)

但,希望归希望...事实归事实....天下无有不散宴席...
离开了以后,谁能肯定一定能够再相见?说不定,相见的时候,只是用一个浅浅的微笑和对方打招呼...或者,连一个"微笑打招呼"都没有....然后所谓的永恒已不存在了...


******************************************


这是我在去年 FORM 4 时,考试很无聊时,写出来的...

"凝望着窗口
   眼神在追寻你的身影
     断断续续 断断续续
  最终还是失望之神的降临
     你
      在哪   
   牵着我们的线
         透明了
  低头望着双脚
     叹惜我们这份情谊
       盼你回来
    失望的我走了"

还有另一个....来不及写...
算了


******************************************

还有最后一件事,
我是失恋了


因为


我的PBK还钱卡不见了~~~


呜~~~

心疼啊~~

不要SWT

我现在只希望可以在下个月还钱之前,可以找得到她回来~~

我生气她竟然一声不吭的就抛弃我....
SWT~~
她再不要回来,我只好.......忍痛的...用 RM 5 再买多一个回来咯....
呜~~
BLESS ME~~

Friday, January 11, 2008

CAMP~~~END-------!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
finally finish my camp.......yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah~~~~~yahoo-----!and after the camp,i have countdown with my friends.....then have HUI YING RI....then....oh my god!!!leo club bon appetite projek!!!so tired~~


NOW,talk bout the leo bon appetite project,wat the.....that mrs.bombastick.....so un-brain(created new word myself,haha)...ask people to sell things without stall????!!!wat the....oh shit!!!!she's juz like a MxLxY....wat the...arrrrgggh!!!!!
i wish to bomb her tat bird nest!!!!!no head ar!xiao ar!dunno how her think one..........she's 变态.....


is she really a chinese?man!简直就是在丢华人的脸啊~~而且又不支持课外活动...傻的!!!她不知道课外活动很重要meh?做什么"笑长"?讲出去笑死人啊-----!!!哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈..............还得罪一些人....我就是其中之一...谁叫她得罪不得罪....跑来得罪我....应该说得罪我的佛学会.竟然把我们锁在第三楼?!欠打!


尤其是那个"笑公"....他很厉害咩?只不过是一粒"笑公"nia ma!!hao lian 么鬼?鼻子又不会挺,在骄傲个屁啊?那个"学笑"也是........做那么多铁门干嘛?把"学笑"搞得像监狱一样.一点儿的自由都没有...拜托~SKUL IS 4 US TO  STUDY~~不是做一些有的没的...把"学升"搞得不生不死.


  累死,有这么的一个MRS.BOMBASTICK....有时侯还真的很想打她......知道她的人都赞同吧?看~~~都在点头了~~嘿嘿...


  不要说我坏.....就连"姥失"们都讨厌她~~真可怜.

  不说她了~~累~~讲也讲不完....又越讲越生气...伤害自己的身体健康....算了算了...反正她又不值得我们去讲...浪费我的口水~总之...我就做我的本份....如果她阻碍到我范围内的事情~~哼!!!小心!!对于她~~我不知道我自己会做出什么事情来....哇哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈


  说回累.........还真的很累.连续迟睡早起....真的好累...功课又还没做完...尤其是那个LEO CLUB BON APPETITE 的 PROJECT...我是卖壽司的...很花工夫的咧.不过我自己也是找死啦...哈哈...自己决定要卖的呐...嘿嘿...然后就害自己和两位朋友做了一整个晚上...早上三点多,四点又MCC的爬起来,然后就三人加我妈妈一起努力的做壽司...好想睡觉噢~~然后又扛着一盒壽司到学校...然后又要很累的爬楼梯...爬到三楼去....然后就很喘~~呼~~~~~~~~好累.

  然后还要上课....本人又是班长....有一点忙的感觉.

  哦!忘了说...当天,当到达学校时,把那一盒壽司从车里扛出来后...我那位扛着壽司的朋友就问:"你书包咧?"....我看一看....feel一feel,OH NO!我忘了把我的书包从车里背下来....往后看,我爸已把车开始驾走了....

当然,我第一时间,跋腿就跑....在我爸车后,追着跑....其他人看了,一定在心里说我变态....不过我才不管他们想什么呢 :P....我那时只在想:"完蛋了~我哪能追得到一辆车?"...

结果,我爸就停下来了......哇~老天爷啊~~你人真好~!然后,我的书包就被救了...没有啦....是我得救啦....因为没有书包,就等于没带课本...那样会被老师骂地~~~~~好才好才~~~呼~~~

那,说回那个壽司....嗯....算满成功的啦....不过我觉得有一些对不起TO那些和我买壽司的人...因为我的壽司没放味道...我只提供MAYONNAISE.......又不是给很多....你们吃得不是很爽吧?嘿嘿...对不起咯~!


再说回我的营.....我觉得也是很对不起我的组员咯......我营的第一天就生病...然后就越来越没力...THEN,我就很少和我的组员交流,接触....也没关心到他们......对不起噢~这一次的营,我做辅导员做得很失败............而且我的组也有很多人生病........我的组的关系都没很好....我有些失望咯~~

不过,也都过了啦.....我希望下一次可以做的很好.....