Feeling deep inside the well..haha -.-

To those friends,dun think so much bout this blog...dun be affected...
If u feel angry or maybe "eee....why is she so?"....
then u better dun see my blog anymore...
This is my place to express my feeling.....so dun complain anything or blame me...
Keep ur feeling or complain in ur heart is enough...k?
u can give me any comment...i'll accept if necessary.just dun make war between u and me...

Do anyone ever see me sad?hurt?angry?i think angry,most of the time all of u know la....
except for....i purposely don't want to let u know.

i cant tahan anymore...so i decide to say a little bit in here....i hope i wont be too over...and say everything out....

U know what?!...not yet begin la....just want to say...i tahan all my feeling(except for happy) for more than ten years(if i'm not mistaken)!!shit.....i can tahan for many years...but NOT FOR MY WHOLE LIFE AR!DONT SCOLD AT ME OR ANGRY WITH ME WHEN I 发泄!!!!i'll die if i din do so,U KNOW?!so sometimes,i'll 发泄在其它无关的事上....

u know....everything got its maximum point....if it reaches its maximum point,it'll rosak or die or explode...

i explode many times liao...but i'd tried to minimize it.....

the funniest things that i'd done to 发泄 is to say it out to someone.....i'm stupid...
cause i'll make them unhappy also!

i think i better use my 以前的方法来发泄...that is....talk to myself.
didnt say it out lar~~~!!!i talk to myself inside my heart...

i'm so complicated one hor...so while i'm talking to myself.....inside my heart will appear at least two person.that's me....and another me.....

we'll having something like debate...macam ni:

me-the-mangsa:haiya...shit la tat ??,always like this @#$%^&*#%
me-the-other:maybe ?? just dun want to let ?? feel sad ma...
me-the-mangsa:but how bout me le?...??can dun be hurted,then i can la?
me-the-other:ya la....?? just dun want to be hurt so do things like that lo...每个人都是要保护自己先的嘛...
me-the-another:ya la...that's y in this world....most people is very selfish one...

(in this case,got three si ting inside the conversation)

*continue bla...bla....bla.......!@#$@$$^#@$#@%$&.....*

then,come out a conclusion...then the conclusion will be my next action...

most of the time....i'll sabar....dun take any revenge action...just because i dun want to hurt anyone...

then

I'M THE ONE WHO GET INTO HOSPITAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

who cares?

i dun let anyone know oso.....

i still laugh and play with them....

nobody know that my heart is bleeding....
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sometimes,i wonder.......

why must i do most of the things to help the others,but not myself?

ACTUALLY....

i feel happy when other people feel happy....
duno why....

when i help someone.....and it ends up successfully,i'll be very happy....

and,during the process,i'll be very serious than when i'm doing my own things....


WHY HOR?

sometimes,i hate myself very much...

i'm lazy...
i know i'm lazy...
i know i shouldn't be lazy...
i know i shouldn't lazy,and should do my things liao....
i know if i didn't do it,i'll doom liao....
i know i'll still be there....lazy....
talking to myself.....
to ask me faster go finish all my work liao....
i'm still lying there asking myself faster go do my hmwk liao....
i'm still................................................................................................



AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
hit u AR!u this lazy pig!!!!useless.....

i know everything....so i keep forgive everyone for their mistake....
eg:when XXX did something that i don't like,i'll start my that weird conversation.....

me-the-angry:@@!!$#%$&^@!
me-the-other:XXX is like that one la....that's XXX's characteristics ma.....
me-the-another:XXX don't think for u.....XXX can't be forgive!!!
me-the-angry:how can XXX do this kind of things????!!!XXX cant think one meh?XXX should know@#%$^@^^...
me-the-other-other:just a little case la....things is done already liao ma....
me-the-another-another:ya lo...what can u do le?go find doraemon lo....
me-the-other-another:just let it be la...or u want to help solve the problem?u try to think what to do now lo......
me-the-another-other:ya lo....blame oso no use....
me-the-angry:......(my memory very bad,so after a while,i forget the things liao,then no more angry)

*wah,so many me.....*


BUT

the things that happen will be ....erm....like...how to say?...errr......like sejarah....can say so kua...

it's like...
even though i forget it now la....but after a long time,i'll remember that things again,and lagi teruk if the person is again making me angry,i'll become more angry....

haiya...duno how to explain clearly la....u people read till MCC oso good....prevent something bad happen....

i'm very complicated till i dunno how to explain the characteristics of myself....
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i think i'm out of topic....
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ok...back to topic...
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actually...i hope i can show me,the actual A TING...to friends around me....

even my family also don't really know the actual of me....

i cant find anyone who can totally know me yet.......

my friends from fo tang only know some part of me only....
my friends from school only know another part of me only....
my family only know another part of me only...
and ect....

people that know me....i can know most of them very much...

but people that know me....only know part of me only...and they know different of me....
eg: A only know i'm a lazy person.....B only know i'm a fierce person......C only know i'm a quiet friendly person.....D only know that i always study.......E only know i'm a quite person....etc etc....

see....so different one ar....how can i'm fierce....quiet?friendly?.....

erm...all correct la.....actually...(HUH?!)dun huh....that's why i said that i'm complicated person ma.......

i'm still finding a person...he understand me very much.....he's name is 知己.
i cant find this person yet la........

i think i wont find him......until my life end....

coz...


me...is really a hard-to-understand person....



let u guys know la......if u know me 100%....u're a complicated person also....and,u're more complicated than me!

*if u know me 70%-80%,u'll think i'm a 恐怖person
*if u know me 100%,u'll know that i'm a stupid person....why?find out urself la....

knowing me 70% and 100% is very different one........u'll know when u know....haha...

i dunno what i'm talking bout liao....


and what i'd type inside here is quite different from the topic....

because it's quite long....means i'll spent much time here typing...the longer the time,the more i forget bout my feeling...so,my feeling now is much more different than when i want to start writting this blog.....

if u're hin hin...i suggest u dun see this blog anymore....
if u cant understand,then let it be..better dun try to find out what i'm writing....
this blog is just like having a very complicated add maths question,which had a wrong information given.....

ENJOY UR LIFE.....u'll pengsan if u still dun understand what i'm writing after read twice...

hehe